mayday

mayday

mayday

....

...

..

.

*kaboom*

shit.

well,this isn't what i wanted to happen.

not at all.

i continue to ask myself "would it be so bad,really?"

and every time i ask,i feel my resolve wavering.

oh....shoot....

when am i going to learn that it always ends badly when you keep your feelings locked up?

what is wrong with me that i can't just say

"maybe i like you"?

and yes!

it would be so bad.

it would.

deep breaths...

everything's gonna be all right.

i think i'm in trouble.

*sigh*

i have to remind myself

it means nothing

and i can't "fall in love with every man who shows me the least bit of attention"

i don't even know if that's right.

shoot.

i wish i could go back to five years ago and tell myself that i was good at writing,and that i needed to continue,no matter what.

because five years ago,i wrote

"i wish i could put words together to sound BETTER

i SUCK"

i had no idea that i would someday be stuck in a state of uninspired writing and half formed ideas.

help.

i'm watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

and there's this line by jim carrey's character,joel -

"why do i fall in love with every woman i see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

i relate to that line.

why do i fall in love with every man i see who shows me the least bit of attention?

i'm going to get back to my movie now.

*sigh*

uuuuggghhhhhhhhhhh.

dear me,

get over it.

sincerely,me.

ps.stop that other thing.it's a waste of time.