i am in hawaii

i am on vacation

beautiful beaches

warm,blue,ocean water

and plenty of amazing things to do

and yet, as i'm doing all of these incredible,new things

all i can think about is how much i miss you

and how much i want to be sharing these things with you

you're the first person i think of when i see a new thing

when i try a new food

when something hilarious happens to me

but i am so hurt

so deeply hurt by your actions,your words

or your lack of action

your lack of words

i insinuated that i would not have you in my life anymore

but i don't want you to be out of my life

i can't imagine my life without you

and if we can't be together

i guess,i suppose

i will learn to be content with being "just a friend"

even if it kills me

...and it just might.